There are a few fixes I can see in the journal entry. The first sentence just doesn't look right to me. Specifically the "has a fierce temper" part. It seems like it needs an 'and' or 'also' before it, maybe even 'known to have a fierce temper' instead. You also have an extra "and" at the end. "and and the splashing of the magikarp . . ." As far as the drawing goes, I like the realistic portrayal, it is very terrifying. It almost looks like some kind of monster out of a mythology movie.
Unexpected, but as always well written as well as well sketched. I was expecting him to nearly get hit by a raging Gyrados and writing all about how he caught the beauty of the creature's movement all the same. I find your mention of the red Gyrados quite amusing, though I doubt no one was able to catch it or at least a mention of a golden Magikarp in the story. All in all one of your more impressive depictions, and if I could suggest something, perhaps a group of Evee or Chansey to brighten things up. Your fan, Kymvros.